10 Cloverfield Lane

"Monsters come in many forms."

You know that ad they play in the theater that advertises for the theater? The one where you watch the audience jump out of their seats in sheer terror as what seems like an impossible amount of good popcorn spills all over the place?

Before I saw 10 Cloverfield Lane, that ad kind of annoyed me for how exaggerated it seemed. No one jumps that much. Come on.

This movie put me in my place. I spilled popcorn, I gasped, my butt left my seat and got a good half a foot of air. This movie is one long panic attack.

It’s not just jump scares - though there are a few, they’re some of the best I’ve seen because every single one makes a point to further the plot. None of them were low-hanging fruit.

Where the movie really succeeds isn’t in the jump scares - it’s in the tension. Whether the prospect of being in an underground bunker with people you don’t know everything about makes you feel claustrophobic, antsy, disturbed, or uncomfortable, this movie makes sure to make you feel that. The tight shots, the bizarre quirks of the characters, and the constant uncertainty of both above and below ground come together to make for quite the perturbed moviegoing experience.

Remember - this isn’t really a sequel to Cloverfield. I would say it takes place in the same universe, but follows different characters entirely. You don’t need to see its predecessor, but I would highly recommend it.

This has one of the best openings to a movie I have seen in recent memory. It’s so simple, purposeful, and extremely effective. 

Mary Elizabeth Winstead makes an incredible lead and I was delighted to be introduced to John Gallagher Jr., but, not for the first time, John Goodman steals the show. He’s eccentric, he’s funny, and he’s eerie. His awkward, short tempered performance leaves the perfect amount of mystery - enough to stick with you.

Something else that’s valuable about this movie is how fun it is to talk about. You’ll have plenty of conversation topics on your way home.

I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the “Cloverfield” anthology - 10 Cloverfield has earned it’s place.

The Witch

"Think The Crucible meets The Shining, seen through the eyes of a teenage girl wrestling to resolve her rigid religious upbringing with her burgeoning sexuality." - Jen Yamato, The Daily Beast

No trailer for this one. Go into this movie blind.

Think of a rollercoaster that moves slowly and jarringly - rattling on the track as it goes. You can't see anything in front of you, but you know you're not where you're supposed to be. Ever so often, your car will lurch violently or drop suddenly - and then put you right back to a sedated, rumbling ride. The result is an unwelcome sense of nausea and a petrifying sense of dread.

That rollercoaster is The Witch.

The Witch blends the known and the unknown better than most horror movies I have seen. From the beginning, it had me right where it wanted me. I vividly remember looking over at my friend to see his reaction at the same time he looked to see mine - both of our jaws had dropped down into the bottom of our popcorn buckets.

It's the opposite of cheap horror - it's creeping, disturbing horror that relies heavily on the pacing, the clever editing, the shrill orchestral and choral music, and some of the best child acting I've seen since Room.

The Witch pulls absolutely 0 punches - thematically and literally. What other movies could have hinted at this movie shows you - and it's incredibly effective. It never feels forced.

On my way out of the theater, I passed what looked to be an elementary-aged kid and his mom, waiting to see the next showing. I smiled and gave them a heartfelt, "Good luck."

I still wonder if that kid slept that night.

The moral of this story is - don't mess with witchcraft. But go see The Witch.

Deadpool

 "What the f*** are we watching?" - guy behind me in the theater

As a high school male, I can't help but believe I am a huge part of the demographic for this vulgar, no-holds barred superhero movie. And this movie seriously catered to me. 

If I wasn't laughing out loud, I was shaking my head - not in a bad way, but in a "this can't be real" way. In a "there is no way that this is happening right now" way. A "I can't believe this is working so well" way.

Ryan Reynolds plays this part to the point where I can't imagine anyone else taking his place (This was not the case for his role in Green Lantern). His goofy gestures, the "milk it" inflection in his voice when he throws out one-liners, and even the dramatic elements of the character of Wade Wilson were all done very well. For a character whose face is completely covered, Deadpool is easily the most expressive superhero I've seen (with Spidey in a close second place).

One of my cinematic shortcomings is my failure to ever watch a movie involving the X-Men. I've just never cared. Maybe one day I'll fix that, but I didn't have to in order to enjoy Deadpool. The two X-Men in the movie, Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead, were hilarious and delightful.

For all of Deadpool's craziness - immortality, vague bad guys, unreal stunts - it's held together by Deadpool's frequent and memorable destruction of the fourth wall and by simple, yet profound storytelling on themes of love, acceptance, and relationships. And plenty of jokes about genitalia.

This has been the second most fun time I've had with friends in a theater behind Star Wars. It's definitely a movie you should see with your buddies. It's definitely not a movie you should see with your parents or with a date you don't know super well.

In an age of endless superhero movies, I stand firm in my belief that Deadpool is one you should watch. It definitely stands out. And you'll have "X Gon' Give it To Ya" and "Shoop" stuck in your head afterwards - so that's a plus.

Can't wait for the sequel - which, with a bigger budget, could be twice as explosive.

POST CREDITS - Yes. Yes. Yes. Don't move.